I R BACK.
For the weekend.
Oh btw, there IS internet at the clinic, but I... don't feel very internet-y haha. We'll see.

But yeah, just wanted to tell you guys that I'm back since yesterday afternoon and I'll be leaving sometime tomorrow. (Sunday). In the evening. And that's probably how it's going to be every week

That's it.

TALK TO ME. BECAUSE YOU CAN. I'LL TALK TO YOU. BECAUSE I CAN.
And because it's getting a little quiet in my internet-verse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm leaving in 9 hours! I'm off to bed and leaving at 9 in the morning

Spent two full days packing and cleaning my room. Mostly cleaning my room. XD It's unbelievable how messy it gets hahaha (and how much crap from yeeears ago I still find XD)

That's it. I'm done talking.

BEYZA! I'll probably talk to y'all on Friday night



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that I'll be spending my time in an adolescents' clinic for about 8 weeks starting Monday.

So yeah, I've had some problems for the past few years and I really hope it's going to get much better once I'm there

I've been trying to get in for quite some time and finally there's room for me 8D

I'll be leaving this Monday (August 31). I have to go home in the weekends, so I'll respond to comments and talk to you then.
So you know where I am when I'm not responding during the week

Hmmm I'm kinda nervous. But also... not. At all. lol.

I'll do my best to keep drawing when I'm there


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proud watcher of:

Guy:"Lets have sex right now."

Girl: "Can we do what?"

Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"

Girl: "Um.....no."

Guy: "Why?"

Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend......."

Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won't tell."

Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."

Guy: "I'm not special to you?"

Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."

Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.

5 minutes pass.......

Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.

Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me.".

Guy: tries to kiss her.

Girl: screams, "Would you stop."

Guy: continues trying.

Girl: moves to the back seat

Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl. Starts to kiss her.

Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."

Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.

Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."

Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get".

Girl: crying, continues to fight.

Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.

Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"

Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.

An hour passes.........

Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.

Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, crying.

Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.

Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now."

Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.

2 months later.........

Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months."

Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."

Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive.

Doctor: "You are pregnant."

Girl: faints.

The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."

The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant....then he lied about it. So completely depressed......the girl commits suicide by drug overdose.......

Girls, if this story touched you, repost it as "No means no a'hole!"

Guys, if this story pisses you off, repost it as "All a'holes who do this should DIE!"


*I snatched this from *


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proud watcher of:

JUST SO YOU KNOW

I actually had a bunch of (old) drawings I was going to upload right after the new Oiroke no jutsu ([link]) one. But there's something wrong with my pc and I can't use it atm. All my drawings and stuff are on there boooh T_T

I am now using my mum's laptop so I can still talk to you guys. (well obviously lol)
I don't know when my pc's going to be fixed or when I can continue working in this laptop.

Man it sucks that my pc ABANDONED me, just when I'm really inspired to do some digital stuff OTL

Oh well, bear with me

-XxX- Chajerz

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proud watcher of:

Okay, I know I'm totally late with this, but I wanted to do it anyway.

When my friend told me that Michael Jackson had died, my reaction was something like: "...Oh. Seriously?" *is this a prank or...?* "Okay... That... sucks." And than I had one of these Awkward-Laughs. I actually LAUGHED WTFFF!!!?? And I feel really stupid because I didn't mean to actually laugh but awkwardness and idiocy took over. Plus we just had one of our stupid giggle-fit-ridden conversations. Still high on talking about guys making out, I was half "What? NO WAY!" and half "Hmm. Too bad." *shrug*

I think a lot of people, fans and non-fans alike, can agree with me that it's strangely hard to grasp that someone like that - an icon - just is no more.

And then I didn't think much about it for the next two days, and THEN I suddenly got really upset about it. Like, UPSET. So. Upset. I didn't expect that to happen. I mean, it's not like I'd been listening to his music 24/7 for the past few years (eventhough I was somewhat of a closet fangirl when I was younger and a few months ago I started getting back into it after a long conversation with a fellow Naruto-fan about how he sorta looked like Orochimaru. (I said that Orochimaru was incredibly sexy despite his snake-anatomy, like how MJ was SO sexy despite some obviously 'creepy' features).

I grew up thinking Smooth Criminal was the coolest and most badass video/song ever made, fell in love with Mike's eccentric style when I first saw it and figured out how to do the moonwalk before I even knew it was his dance step.
Man In The Mirror, Give In To Me, Cry, The Way You Make Me Feel, We Are The World, Say Say Say, Heal The World and many other songs, Jackson 5 songs among them, were like those songs everybody knew (in my world -- at least I did) without really knowing where they had heard it. As is the case with many legendaric pieces, when you're little and only know the tunes from what your parents or MTV would play. You take it for granted that those songs just exist and don't understand the beautiful meaning of some of them until much later. Then, you'd actually sing them for exactly that - the meaning, for equality and love. As was Mike's message.

I bawled my eyes out and I just did it again.

Now I feel like a wimp and someone needs to hug me/tell me I'm being a wuss. Whatever helps.

BUT I guess it's okay to be sad about all this, because, well, it's THE KING OF POP and now he's GONE and and and and-

Okay, so I have a few reasons why I'm particularly upset:

1. His music and dancing were AMAZING. Awesome and mesmerising. And with his style(s) in clothing (ANDTHEMAKEUP!) it's just, GAHH. Yesplz. (I don't care if you don't like his work, you can't deny his dancing skills)
   It's just so stupid how some people just ignored his skills because of his looks.



2. He had all these songs about how we should respect and love the earth and animals and nature and each other. People who have worked with him all say he's incredibly kind and he seems too sweet. And he did SO. MUCH. for charities. *thumbs up!* I do believe discrimination has decreased thanks to him. (If you don't know his heal the world-songs, looks 'em up. Black or white, the earth song, man in the mirror, etc.) *likes promoting anti-hate songs*
   He helped those in need and really cared. To me, it's so clear that he was a good person. No, he was an angel, and will never be anything less than that.



3. I felt (/feel) SO bad for the guy. When I was little I saw that documentary about his life with my mum and it was so sad T_T And I swear, his life must've been CRAP. I mean, who puts a five-year-old on stage like that?! And who wouldn't depigmentate his skin for it to be one colour instead of random patches of black and white if he had the money for it? (he had vitiligo) And who wouldn't get a nosejob if his father used to call him Big Nose? (really, wtf? fatherly love?)
   He was physically and mentally abused by his father and mentally scarred and later in life, things only got worse.
   He was accused of molesting children, something he absolutely disgusted (the boy admits it was all a lie) and people just kept using every little thing he did or said to make him look like a maniac.
   And then he pretty much became the butt of all jokes and what not in the world. Like, MUCH worse than Britney Spears (who I also feel really bad for and respect because of it) And bashing him apparently became so much more fun than watching him perform? A little joking around, all in good fun, okay, I guess that's what happens to anyone known, but people need to stop the shameless BASHING and HATING!
   And when he was asked about it in interviews he was like: "I honestly don't know why they would do that. I don't even know them, I didn't do anything to them. I don't hate them, so..." And that was just cute (you should know what I mean if you know what his talking voice sounds like ^^)
   He dedicated his life to entertaining us and helping and comforting those who need it, and this is what he gets?



4. That being said, I'm half glad and half sad about all the MJ tributes on tv and the radio and stuff. Although I love that he now gets all this recognition and all, a lot of the people who now say he was great, are the very same people who said he was nothing but a creep and should just die and called him Wacko Jacko. Argh.
   And also, now all the people who were NOT against him (including me) are reminded, so to speak, and finally get around to speaking and/or writing about it, a nice change from the endless hating going on in the past years. But now that the world is finally taking back the nasty stuff and actually being nice, it's too late. I wish he could see this happening.

When I heard he had died, I honestly thought it must've been a relief for him. Salvation. In my mind he was always a lonely person, too gentle for this world and too talented to live his own life. Too insecure to really be happy, despite his title. He seemed so cheerful and sweet and caring, with patience to no end. His life was made a living hell and he just didn't deserve that. In my eyes he was a very kind soul and it's just not fair that he had to have such a hard life. Someone that pure just doesn't deserve that.

People have been arguing about his father - should we hate him for how bad he treated his son (and other children), or not, because he created this superstar?
And I really thought that, inside, I'd selfishly think the latter; I didn't know MJ personally after all and I do enjoy his performances (eventhough I'd never say it's okay to be an abusive parent).
But whereas I would most likely feel that way, if even a little, for other artists, I truely wish it could've been the other way, even if we wouldn't have had the King of Pop.
To me, he was just such a good person, he should've had the world's love and support instead of hatred, and he should've been able to live a happy, peaceful life. But no.

My first thought was that it seemed like his death was a way to escape the pain for him, and that just makes me so sad and pissed. (and kind of happy at the same time - that he doesn't have to deal with the judgemental world anymore)
I wish he would've gotten effective, professional help to deal with things and be happier.


He was a loving person. He loved and he showed it to the world. We can learn from that.

...

Well, got that out of my system. There is so much more that I could say, but words just don't do him - or my true feelings - justice.

*sigh* And now everyone knows about my closet-fangirling. XD And about my wuss-ness. And that I'm actually this touched by MJ's death which I managed to pretty much keep a secret (unnecessarily) until I suddenly decided to put it on the INTERNET. -_- But that's okay.

LONG-ASS JOURNAL IS OVER. Kudos and thank you if you read this far

R.I.P. Michael Jackson! You deserve peace And you will never be forgotten.
And the best of luck to those who were close to him. Eventhough the chance you'll read this journal is 0,000001%.

-XxX- Chaja


P.S. Any fellow (former) closet fans out there?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proud watcher of:

HAY GUISE GUISE GES WHUT?!

Hi

I'm so hyper ahahahah.

This song makes me so happy: [link]

Playin' it non-stop DRIVIN' EVERYONE CRAAAZZYYYY.

It makes me even happier that Brendon Urie from Panic At The Disco is in it. iluPanic! My little talented boys, they grew up so fast T.T

lollll some of the lyrics in that song make me crack up. At the end of Travis' rap part he says: smiling so hard my mouth looks like a capital U. AAHAHAHAH I DUNNO THAT JUST MAKES ME LAUGH.

And when Janelle sings: The bridge between us is a rainbow. So cheezy. So perfect XD



Okay I'm done. I'm off to the dentist now Ugh, I have this huge wound on the inside of my cheek because I was chewing it a little too much out of boredom and I didn't even notice. ugghhh and I don't want my dentist to see it XD

Oh well, gotta split!

Byeza!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proud watcher of: